folly 'oliday

For some foolish reason I have agreed to go on holiday this year. Yes that is the good bit, here is the terrifyintg bit, I am going with my boyfriend, his parents, his two brothers, another family of four and three other girls. SHEEEEET. I have never been on a holiday that wasn't a family holiday (I mean with MY family), and therefore have never been on a holiday where I haven't felt that I can let it all hang out; cellulite, fat rolls, greasy no make-up face etc etc... I am of course flattered to be asked but since my last holiday three years ago I now have a considerable amount of extra flesh. I have already started shopping for swimwear in the mindset of 'know your enemy'. I am not sure I will fit into any of my cheap old gear, or if I can if the result will be a look I feel comfortable parading around in front of these people in.

So far this is what I have learnt. Topshop swimwear is an utter no go, if I wanted to fit my boobs in anything smaller than a size 14 then forgetaboutit, and then the back is all saggy. And if you have an arse forgetaboutit too. If you have a nice slim boyish figure tho, they have some really cute stuff, like the floral cossie or the paisley bikini.

Marks and Spencers have quite a few pieces I like and offer different styles of bottoms to mix and match with their tops, which I appreciated. I liked their snakeskin halter costume and their blue leopard jewelled. Again, if you have a perfect figure I recommend their styles but personally I think I'll stick to the cossies.



John Lewis on Oxford Street have small range at the moment but I liked their polka dot swimming costumes - quite a good fit on the bottom and trunk but did nothing for my uneven saggy tits. I have bought a bikini from there for consideration as the bottoms had that thing where you can roll up the top almost to navel level so I can tuck my belly in, but I'm not sure I'll keep it.

I love the retro styles from What Katie Did and I'm going to pay the shop a visit in a couple of weeks time:



My absolute favourite if we're dream shopping is Sea Folly. Below are styles I like and would actually try, but they have some really gorgeous designs that wouldn't be right for me, I urge a browse.

I am a bit worried that starting shopping so early and moaning about swimwear will jinx the holiday and an ash cloud will descend or something. Obvvy I do want to go, but I need to be prepared! I am finding a lot of bikini tops I like (none of those triangle with string ties tho, they look horrible on me, shudder) as you can get these fitted like bras but I hate ALL bikini bottoms and think I may end up wearing mens swimming trunks so I can hide my cellulite away.Nothing is prudish enough! I used to be able to just buy any old cheap bikini and feel ok in it, but I now have bits of flesh in new places, and before I did only have my own family to consider, who have to love me whatever! Now I'm not saying I'm fat, I'm body shy and prudish and don't want anything flopping about. Considering that the other girls on the holiday are all stunning and the last time I was in a bikini in public I repeatedly nipple slipped (my friend caught this on camera, didn't realise and uploaded the photo to facebook, good...) I think a bit of forward planning is a good idea. This will definitely be an ongoing thing so keep watching folks, if you can bear it....